These are my notes for the lecture Networking with Purpose by Dr Peter Kelly I suggest you check it out if you have the time.
Meeting Someone for the first time
- When you meet someone for the first time, pause for half a second then smile. This gives them the impression that this smile is specially for them.
- When you meet someone for the first time, once you are introduced to them give them a big smile and give them your undivided attention. when you meet someone for the first time, imagine they are an old friend. This tricks your brain into making your body language more welcoming and friendly.
Starting a conversation
- When you start to talk to others match their mood. Whether they are lazy, relaxed or in a hurry and rushed until your two moods are aligned
- Carry a “What’s it” item (as flashy or dialed down as you want to be) which is something to make it easier for others to approach and start talking, you can also use the same technique to start talking to others (e.g., wearing a colorful scarf, some weird necklace or eye glasses)
- Never answer the questions “where are you from” or “what do you do” with the plain city or the plain job title because it does not give whoever is asking any room to pick about conversation points. Instead give some additional information.
- When you don’t have nothing to say use the parrot technique: repeat the last three to four words back to the other person in a questioning tone. This throws the conversation ball back to them
- Before going to a big event look up topics (e.g., current sports event, something in the news) to start and keep conversation,
Blending in
- Try to learn the lingo of a profession or a specific group. This will allow you to blend in faster.
- Use the pronoun “WE” when talking to someone which creates a feeling of intimacy.
Getting people to like up
- Sneak in compliments as a secondary point in a sentence. e.g., “During the 5k run, which someone like you could probably finish easily, I was out of breath,…”
- Do not ask “what do you do for living?” because it can be embarrassing for people who are between jobs or people with a different lifestyle can feel attacked. Instead ask “how do you spend most of your time?”